Ok... so Mark (my coworker) got his car dinging by some stupid girl living upstairs from him. Paint matched, parking situation matched, she seemed guilty, etc...etc... but there is no eyewitness or other "concrete" evidence to support the incident so the cops are doing nothing.
Now, let's everyone concentrate our mental energy so this girl will either: (a). Fess up and pay damages, or (b). Get explosive diarrhea.
Fin.