Open Letter To UF Defensive Coordinator Ed Zaunbrecher

I didn't write this, but I'll darn sure post it!

As the season winds down (except for the big upcoming thriller in the Citrus or Outback Bowl), let's pause, reflect, and give tribute to a man who gave us these wonderful memories of the University of Florida football season. I'm speaking of course, of Mr. Ed Zaunbrecher.

Thank you, Ed.

Thanks for the one touchdown against Miami.

Thanks for removing Earnest Graham from the Miami game in the first quarter after his one-man drive and spectacular touchdown run.

Thanks for the delay of game penalty ON FIRST DOWN after we blocked their punt to silence perhaps the loudest Swamp moment in history.

Thanks for going into the shotgun after the same blocked punt when we were jamming it down their throat from under center with runs and play-action.

Thanks for the 2d and 15 world-famous sloooowwww inside handoff from shotgun on the same series. (loss of two)

Thanks for introducing the "Zaunbrecher screen," where Rex spins 180 degrees in a slow-developing play with a blind throw and prays to God the defensive lineman standing there drops the interception, or our running back holds on to the ball after the inevitable paralysis hit when he catches it.

Thanks for going solely to the shotgun in the second half (we're still on Miami), and abandoning play-action when the Canes are playing two-deep with rolled up corners designed for the gun.

Thanks for introducing--and running three times for losses at critical points--the "Zaunbrecher inside pitch option" with the entire Miami defense knowing Rex ain't keeping it outside, and the running back getting creamed by three d-linemen....every time.

Thanks for the fascinating formations, such as the "stacked triple receivers," in which we put the fear of God in our opponents with every imaginable type of lateral and horizontal screen.

Thanks for rarely throwing the intermediate curl, post, or post-flag. And, a double thanks for rarely running those routes off play-action, which was one of the only things we did sucessfully all year.

Thanks for the mid-season abandonment of our tight ends, and their skinny post and seam routes.

Thanks for the (non)option in which our Heisman candidate pocket-passer is leveled by defensive ends for solid three to five yard gains.

Thanks for inserting Ingle Martin-- who is not a wide receiver-- at wide receiver, and throwing to him on critical downs, but NOT utilizing one of our blue chip freshmen receivers (who are wide receivers).

Thanks for running Ingle on the end-around (though he is not a running back) but never letting him pass off the end-around (although he IS a quarterback)

Thanks for NEVER running a fast-paced, two minute drill offense to change the tempo even though you almost ALWAYS run a no-huddle offense.

Thanks for running that sprint-to-the line full-house backfield with the quick snap, and never faking the handoff.

Thanks for NEVER using a quick snap on third and short, and RARELY using a quarterback sneak (although Rex IS a running quarterback now).

Thanks for the deeeeeep handoff in the backfield to Earnest on the failed 4th and 1 against Auburn, after a fifteen second, muscle-stiffening snap count. And tell Zook thanks for going for it when failure means Auburn needs 10 yards to kick for the win.

Thanks for the new theory of wide receiver routes where at least three receivers must arrive within seven yards of each other.

Thanks for adding to the receiver congestion with the roll-outs to cut the field in half.

Thanks for rolling behind the RIGHT side of our line behind Jorgy and two freshmen.

Thanks for the one touchdown against FSU.

Thanks for the first drive against FSU, with Grossman primarily under center mixing runs with play-actions, only to be completely abandoned for the shotgun when we got inside the red zone.

Thanks for an offense against FSU that we all knew, after one quarter, was not going to explode or even challenge the ferocious Nole defense that buckled to the high-powered attacks of Louisville and NC State.

Thanks to you and/or Zook for NOT MANAGING ONE TIME OTHER THAN THE GEORGIA GAME IN GETTING A RECEIVER OTHER THAN JACOBS OPEN ON A DEEP ROUTE (WITH THE POSSIBLE EXCEPTION OF NEBRASKA THIS MAY BE UNPRECEDENTED IN MODERN COLLEGE FOOTBALL).

Thanks to you and/or Zook for not playing any freshmen receivers, which means we now start the 2003 season with absolutely no deep-threat receivers who have played even a single down. Relatedly, thanks Zook, for the explosive kick-return combo of Carthon and Kight, a power runner and a possession receiver who can't catch kickoffs.

AND FINALLY, my favorite memory, one which occurred over and over, one which defines our offense, and one which will be stuck in my mind for eight loooong months...the fifteen to twenty yard Rex Grossman back-pedal--straight back--with three receivers all together and all covered, followed by an off-balance throw off his back foot into a crowd for a near-interception as he is smashed by a defensive lineman and driven to the ground...and those five or six seconds when we all bonded and wondered if he'd get up once again.

These are just a few of my favorite memories, all typed from the top of my head. I'm sure all of you have others that you can share. I only hope that Coach Zaunbrecher is burning the midnight oil and coming up with more schemes, more short horizontal passes, more unusual formations, and more unfathonable slow-developing plays so that we can have more beautiful memories in 2003.