The Net Is Tops For Bizarre Behavior

Leave me alone, you freak.

Originally, the net was intended as a conduit for information. Scholars and scientists were rubbing their hands in excitement. I wonder if sites such as these are what they expected. Here's an excerpt:

Two criminals burst in waving shotguns.

'This is a robbery!' they yell. 'You two are hostages.'

'Make them tie each other up,' says the lead robber.

'Ach! I have forgotten the rope,' says his cohort.

'I happen to have a roll of cling-film with me,' I offer diffidently. 'Perhaps that would serve?'

'It will have to. Wrap that man in black in cling-film at once or it will go badly with you.'

'Very well.' Trembling, I take out the cling-film. 'I am sorry Roy, it looks like I have no choice.'

'Do what you have to.'

I start at the feet and work my way up. I wrap him as tenderly as a mother swaddling an infant. I marvel at the play of light on the miraculous translucence. Soon, Roy Orbison is entirely wrapped in cling-film. I thank God that I was born to live this minute.

'He is completely wrapped up in cling-film,' I report.

This guy names Ulli has put together some creepy short stories that involve Roy Orbison and a fetish for plastic food wrap. You'll love the mechanical, emotionless dialog. It's exquisite! Read all three for maximum effect.