Mall-servations

I was at the mall yesterday looking for some sort of messenger bag. The backpack I'm using now is several years old and it's beginning to look like a hobo's accessory. Anyway, as I was leaving, I saw two rediculous things that caught my eye.

• I saw a young boy, couldn't have been older than twelve, that was fat as shit. Worse still, he was wearing a white cowboy hat that was so big it could have doubled as a country sail. Even worse than that, he had a black t-shirt that had a picture of a bottle of Jim Beam with "It's A Southern Thing" in bold letters on top. I noticed him because he was waddling down some steps with his fat mom. Shame shame shame...
• Leaving Belk's, I saw three seemingly pre-teen girls sitting on a bench, all smoking next to a stroller. The kid was enveloped in the smoke created by the three morons.

I would have taken pictures but I couldn't sneak one... would have been too obvious.