Katie Holmes: Jacked Up Hooves

I just wrote a really great, biting, sarcastic entry about Katie and Tom "Xenu" Cruise and so forth but I'm an idiot and accidentally closed the browser and lost it all. Sh*t. Do me a favor and imagine the funniest entry ever about Tom Cruise comparing "Battlefield Earth" to the movie "The Ten Commandments", followed by a cleverly engineered segue into Katie Holmes and her horrible looking feet. Trust me, it was clever.

UPDATE: Dating Tom Cruise also gives you the herpes.